attention, affection, no rejection
by farietale.x.heartbreak
Summary: Have you ever felt like no one saw you? And not in the typical sense, but saw you as in really really saw you, understood you, listened to you, and wanted to know you, the real you, the you that cried for attention, affection, not rejection.


_Have you ever felt like no one saw you? And not in the typical sense saw you, but saw you as in really saw you, understood you, listened to you, and wanted to know you, the real you. I have. I've felt like this for as long as I can remember, in school I had one friend, but that was an unstable friendship. It was almost fickle, having no sense of stability for affection, behavior, opinion or loyalty. Whenever the "popular" kids would show even the slightest amount of kindness and friendship, she was completely against me, even though we were "best friends". It was especially hard for me since I had almost no sense of normality, all because I was different. I had, we'll call it a, sickness, for lack of a better term. The other children thought I was contagious, when in fact I was quite the opposite, the only person who never judged me was the one friend I had had since I was practically born. _

_I was seven when I found out I had diabetes, and I hadn't known it then but things would get worse from there. Receiving the diagnoses was only the tip of the iceberg of my plummet into depression. First it was the little things, being the last chosen in gym class, ignored at the park, then as I got older, it was the invisibility to the people I wanted badly to be my friends. Then there was the lack of attention from boys. That was when I decided to hide myself in dark clothes, heavy makeup, and absolute solitude. As a strange turn of events, when I reached high school I met people who didn't care that I was different... Which, don't get me wrong, was a breath of relief, but they still didn't see me._

_Even though it was hard to deal with the people at school, and outside my own little bubble, having to deal with my broken home life was the worst of all. My parents had divorced when I was 6, and I had spent weeks crying about it. There really was no one around that understood how I had felt, since I had no one at school to talk to and no one at home to listen so I kept it all to myself. I knew very well I that I couldn't go to my parents, since my mother had moved hours away and my father was too busy working on peoples houses after his regular job to spend time with me. Yeah I had an older "brother", but I didn't trust him, to be honest even these days I don't trust him. Ever since we were little kids he had a rather fucked up choice in friends, they were always getting into trouble. And it only got worse until he got caught. _

_Have you ever felt like no one saw you? And not in the typical sense, but saw you as in really really saw you, understood you, listened to you, and wanted to know you, the real you, the you that cried for attention, affection, not rejection. As you read this, think to yourself who you may have made felt neglected, left out or ignored, this was my introduction, and this is My story, not starting from the beginning, but from the day my life became a roller coaster ride...._

_**April 2008**_

"I need a new Fucking job!" as an emerald eyed, auburn haired beauty fumed down the streets of downtown Tomoeda. Dressed in her business attire, she ranted on the phone to her childhood friend, who was trying to calm her down. "They wanted to decrease my pay from 28 to 18 and hour, all because we were starting a new Project. Honestly what the Fuck do they think I was going to do? Sit there and take the pay cut? I worked my Ass off to get those raises"

"Then why don't you come and work for me at the plant?"

"You want me to work for you...?... are you out of your fucking mind!"

"At least it would be steady pay, and no pay cuts."

"Alright fine, let me think about it and I will call you tomorrow, I need to head home and get some yoga into my system or I'm going to snap at someone around here."

"Alright, I will talk to you later"

"Yea...."

"What are you making for supper...?"

"Is that all you can think about right now? Your damn stomach?!"

"Alright alright 'Saks' calm down I was only kidding. I just really like your cooking that's all"

"Yea yea, what ever, Bye"

"Bye"

Sliding her phone into her pocket she made her way to her black BMW, taking deep breaths as she slowly calmed down. For the past couple years she had some difficulty with work. She would have a shit job one day, and then what she felt was alright employment the next. But she wanted something stable, something that she could be at for years and still want to go in the next morning, a career, something normal. Just like she wanted with the rest of her life, but since karma didn't want to give her a break in the personal department she figured she'd stick to her business life. The only thing that seemed at all stable in her life was her friendship with Takasuma Ryu. They had been friends since they were practically born because their mothers had been close friends. Everyone had always hinted to Sakura that Ryu had liked her since they had entered high school, but she just brushed it off. She thought of him as the brother she could trust, as her absolute best friend, she never dreamed that he would ever like her, and to be honest it creeped her out a bit just thinking about it.

Starting her car she ripped out of the parkade setting off a couple car alarms in the process. Pulling on to the main road she made her way through rush hour traffic to her home that she shared with her father and brother. Pulling into the drive way she put her car in park, locked the doors and set the alarm. She had recently got an alarm system installed since her brother sometimes liked to pick the locks and take her car for a joy ride to find girls to fuck them in the back seat. A couple times she had found certain questionable items in the back seat that she Knew were not hers. Walking through the front door she called out to anyone that might have been in the house, but to her non surprise no one answered. This was the daily routine, normal you could say. She would come home to an empty house, have a shower, then cook something for supper. Her dad and brother would walk in the door hours later, not at the same time obviously, but generally late. Supper by that time would need to be reheated, so she would always leave two plates of food in the oven.

"Hey I need to borrow your car squirt." Touya yelled as he sauntered his way into the house

"Um let me think about that for a minute... how about No! I don't want you anywhere near my fucking car since I Know what you use it for!..." Sakura hollered back

"Whatever then, you know you can be a real bitch sometimes..."

"Yea and I wonder how I got to be that way..."

"I wonder the same thing"

"Look in the fucking mirror and maybe that might give you just the tiniest of a little hint." Before he could retort back with some smart ass comment she stormed upstairs grabbing her keys off the table and headed to her room.

She pulled her phone out of her back pocket and dialed Ryu's number. "Moshi Moshi Ryu speaking"

"Hey Ryu..."

"Hey 'Saks' … whats up...?"

"I was calling to let you know that I will take that job working with you..."

"Great!! That's awesome, just meet me at the front doors to the plant tomorrow morning at 8 and I'll get you all set up with what you can do alright?" he sounded overly happy, almost like he was hoping she would take the job. But she brushed it off and just thought she was thinking too deeply into something silly.

"Alright I'll see you in the morning... OH! What should I wear?"

Laughing Ryu said that she should just wear something business casual, and that he would see her in the morning. They wished each other their good nights and she crawled into her bed hoping that tomorrow would be a better day than today. As she dreamt of a happier life with less stress, little did she know her world would be flipped upside down the minute she walked through those doors.


End file.
